The irony of seeing this guy on the bus ride home tonight was that i was listening to coheed and cambria the entire time... woah!

http://www.bearfront.com/75015

Ignoring the tl;dr-ness of the whole thing, you have to love a profile that starts off by describing what a jerk you are. The next line is about attention whores and drama queens and how awful they are, but the very next heavily implies that, not only does he get into a bunch of drama in the chat room, but he can't stop jumping back into it.

Then there's the weird ongoing theme of "I'm totally in your face and I don't care what anyone thinks and if you don't like it, tough titties. Nevermind the fact that I'm so closeted I've had to learn to sustain myself on moth balls. I'm still edgey. Right? RIGHT?!"

Further down, there's a list of turnoffs. "Bitchy/whiny people (I've been there, done that, grown up..)" Is that so?

The whole profile just reeks of insincerity and phoniness. It looks like it's a list of things he wants to be vs. a list of things he actually is.

Also, self-described 70s kids that have never seen the 70s put me in a perpetual eyeroll.

i wore the other suit to work today
it's a darker, more charcoal colour...
running another training course today so it's been fun





still waiting to hear from the guy from ford...

Not a whole lot going on today, or this week for that matter. So what to blog about today? Hmmm.

I already mentioned my new Karaoke discs so that's covered.

Isn't he just the cutest little thing?

Today I'm at Caffe Vita as usual but I'm using my Eee PC this time. It's a neat little laptop, and I mean little, that fits in y man purse. I saw it mentioned in bearzilla's Lj and thought "Perfect!" so I ran out and got one. At first it seemed to have some limitations that I felt might make it not worth it. But after giving chance and adapting to it a little it turns out with a few thumb drives it is actually pretty convenient and a nice ultra portable alternative to carrying around a huge laptop. The Battery life is pretty good too unlike my full sized laptop.
After removing alot of the unnecessary applications from the OEM install I freed up alot of room to put on the applications I really want to use. All except the memory hungry iTunes. but I can load up the iPod on my other 2 PC's and just listen to them aside from the laptop, like right now.
They were playing The Cure's Greatest Hits or something when I came into Vita today and while I like the Cure I'm just not down with them at the moment.

---

In other news, Bear Pride is coming up and in about a week I will be hoping a plane to Chicago for a weekend of good wholesome Christian-like fun. And by Christian-like I mean I'm mainly focusing on the Sodomy part of the bible. But I digress. Bear Pride marks almost 1 year now that I've been podcasting. That means an anniversary show. What the hell I'm gonna do for it? I have no fucking clue. I am going to try and crank out at least 1 show before I go and then try to do one show while I'm there at bear pride. Or at least get some good video for a Bear Pride Specia-mercial. I still need to do the bear-geek show an christopher575 is going to come on the show sometime too. Probably the next show. What should we talk about? I only have 1 topic so far.

so i finally received some information about my stolen car, along with some pics…
apparently my plates were still on the car and the salvage yard has them and these can be sent to me so that i can have them put on the new car, which is good news
apparently there was nothing left in the car, so all of the stuff that was in the car has gone
i had money in there, a jacket or two, i think there was even one or two ties, different photos, my basketball whiteboard - which i had used for nearly 20 years - along with a alot of other stuff as you will see from the pics below…
in one of the pics you see that they must’ve stopped at macca’s at some stage...
i still can’t believe it… 

in other news i'm going for a drive in the mondeo xr5 this morning
i was actually really surprised
it's a bit over the budget limit but maybe qbe can work around that 
i'll see how it feels on the drive...



























 
 
they really fucked it up didnt they
one word

( NSFW )

can't sleep. and maybe it's just the insomnia, but I'm thinking thinking thinking.

anyway.

this isn't an attention/comment whoring thing at all. I'm just curious. I have a feeling that I know exactly who actually reads my journal, and who just has me on their friends list just to add to the count. I kinda want to see if I am right.

of course, the ones who I don't think read my journal won't even respond to this. but we'll see if it works anyway.

Poll #1187306
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

do you read my journal? no qualifiers, no "sometimes", just yes or no...

"the invisible choir sings you a voiceless lesson
so you'll always remember what grew out of decisions that death can't steal
lives that learned to give when it seemed there was nothing
oh, how much more it meant to those around we go
there's a rhythm soft and slow
you'll always hear the choir if you listen close"
~rocky votolato

( larger version behind here )

-p-

For everyone who commented / called / txt'd about my post Sunday night...

Basically what happened was that right before I went to work, I was browsing through the LJ's and came across a friend's post that brought back a whole lot of bad memories for me. Without a lot of time to process it, I posted then headed out the door in a pretty horrible funk. But thanks to ya'll.. the night was not ruined and I felt a lot better about halfway through the night

so, thank you :)

-p-

So yesterday I did something that I thought I wouldn't do for another 5 years.

I came out to someone in my family.

Now before we explore this, lets go back 2 weeks ago, May 3rd.

I attended my Cousin's Quincinera (A sweet 15 (16 for Americans) ).
My whole family was there. Now I have seen different members amongst the past 4 years, but I've gotten into a habit of cutting myself out of my family events due to my lifestyle isn't exactly what my family had planned for me. So, being in the mix of everyone, had made me very happy, because I've seen cousins I haven't seen in 4 years, Uncles, and Aunts, everyone. At the same time it made me sad because I've cut them out of my life for reasons such as laziness, and just to do what I want. I've missed out on alot of my cousins growing up. My grandfather is old, and I my widowed aunt looks wasted away, granted, yes this isn't any of my fault, but, I still feel I should be there. So this has been bouncing around my head for a while.
William (my boyfriend) has been supportive in my pacing around the apartment as I'm starting to plan out my life after a graduate ( a year from now). My first thing is improving my family relationship. I'm already having that father-son relationship that I always wanted with my dad. We went to a U2-3D concert the other day (he loves U2). And I've grown to calm down the tension between me and my mom. So as far as my immediate family is concerned I'm going good.

I've decided to come out to my lesbian aunt yesterday, thinking it should be easy because ... well because she is gay herself.

So I asked Will to go down with me. I pulled her aside and told her about me, she was shocked. Not the reaction I wanted. After alot of talking and making sure it wasn't a phase we moved onto the topic of how hard it is to be gay in my family. You see, everyone in my family ignores my gay aunt and uncle's life style. They pretend their partners are just "friends" and nothing more. She said that she honestly expected my other cousin to come out, but me, she never saw it coming. I hold alot of weight on my shoulders being the first born of my generation. First to go to college, first to graduate college, first boy, and first most likely to have a son. And she admitted, that my parents are very stupid when it comes down to the gay topic, and it'll be a big battle.

She wants to protect me from the hardships shes dealt with. And that is understandable, but I also told her that I wasn't going to conform to the life that my family had already planned for me. I'm not an engineer, I'm a computer programmer, I'm not going to stay in New Jersey, I'm probably going to move, and I'm not going to marry a woman. We spent 5 hours catching up with my life, on what I've been doing when I wasn't coming down to visit the family. I told her about all the boys i met to ensure her that is isn't just William that is "making me gay". I think now she realizes its my choice and that I'm happy with my choice. But if I want to be recognized for who I am in my family, I'll have to eventually fight for it.

The good things that came out of everything is, She supports me, and she'll be there when I come out to the rest of them. We both agreed it isn't anytime soon in which I should tell the family. Her brothers, my uncles and my father, are pig headed and will mostly likely be my troubles. The women, my aunts excluding my mom, are going to love me either way. She though is scared of my mother. She knows, she'll flip out.

To be honest, I'm scared. I never thought I would do it, come out to someone in my family.
But I'm glad to have someone on my side.
I don't plan to come out to the rest of my family yet. That'll be years later
but it was one crazy first step.

You can't take a trip out west without going to In-n-Out Burgers. Their fries suck, but ya gotta love them burgers.
So, that covers lunch, what about the rest of the day? Well, it was a Monday. Work, work, work. And to be honest, i'm getting a bit exhausted. Between the 12+-hour days and then running around meeting everyone, i haven't had much downtime (so i have missed out on a lot of y'all's LJs too). It's not easy being a social butterfly. Don't get me wrong, i am honored and priveleged to have had the opportunity to meet all these great guys. It's just all catching up with me - but its been worth it. Plus its getting to be crunch time at work so that's pretty taxing too. By the time i got home from work last night, it was about 8, so i just said to hell with it and went floating in the pool.

( soggy woofer splashing in the pool...are speedos NSFW? )

I just spoke with Puppy... who discovered (just as the DreamBear did) that making the Moosey laugh while his nose is still icky isn't fun... its HILARIOUS.

You see--anything that makes my mouth move too much or stretch my nose hurts.

So laughing, smiling too broadly, or enunciating can make me coo a little "ow" quickly as it stops hurting.

Example:

Dreambear tickles Moosey.
Moosey says, "Teee hee! Ow ow ow."

Moosey tries to say "Buffalo", and it sounds like "Muffalo".. .Puppy laughs at Moosey, Moosey laughs at self... Moosey says, "Tee hee hee! Ow ow ow." Puppy laughs harder. Moosey laughs harder. Moosey starts to cry from pain.

Its a vicious cycle.

I am just amazed what people come up with. Thanks asn4bearsfor the link.

Man Dressed as Darth Vader Spared Jail for Attack on Founder of Britain's Jedi Church

Btw, it's from Fox News.

My new Dwarf.

3 or four in a row. Out of nowhere.

Just think of the ramifications.




I'd rather go back to being Sleepy.